My quest for AMBROSIA - the food of Gods.

Cooking is one of those almost hypnotic businesses, like a dance from some ancient ceremony. It leaves you filled with one of the world's sweetest smells... there is no chiropractic treatment, no Yoga exercise, no hour of meditation in a music-throbbing chapel, that will leave you emptier of bad thoughts than this homely ceremony of making food.it is almost like a musician making his masterpiece. you have to linger at every step, guide urself by aroma ,the sight and instincts ....the whole process is as rewarding as the feasting on the outcome.
When i was a child i was one of those who had least interest in food. I thought of it as a waste of time . Eating was like a job to me ;I mean a cumbersome job of thrusting things in to the mouth untill the belly is full . This act was not voluntary always .My mother frequently reminds me of how our 'domestic help' use to chase me around the house with the platter of food in his hand. I remember some of it though.I remember best at it was Inder bhaiya. A lad with chink looks.He had a way of his own . He used to fascinate me with this fictiouc charecter Chweedbarh (whom he created out of thin air ).This charecter according to him was more powerfull than 'Bhima', and I had to beleive him because Chweedbarh was from his native village and Inder bhaiya's daddy was freinds wth him . So captivating me with tales of chweedbarh - who used to eat from katories of the size of wedding karahis, he would slyly empty the whole plate down my throat without me even noticing it . The spell used to break when with the last bite of the food he would abruptlly end his story . I used to feel so cheated but that did not prevent me from falling fr his another con at another meal.
The first time i remember that i relished food was at my Bua`s place.She had pprepared chicken. I hated chicken but when I saw my cousins so eager fr it ,I somehow thought "it oughta be good", and yes i relished food for the first time .The next time I remember was a party at Brigadier Ganguly`s place. As a snack there were these little barbecued pieces of Goat liver , each with a chopstick in them.I remember asking the orderly for them again and again , so much so that it embarassed my parents.My mother had to strictly instruct me later after coming home , that if i did the very same thing again , I would not be taken to any party anymore.

The credit of my introduction to food as a creator goes to my long lost freind Brijesh.He told me the reciepe of 'Mushroom Curry' with such a twinkle in his eyes that I decided to give it a shot . I had tried my hand before at cooking but it was basically , omlettes or pizzas. this was going to be the first real food i wud make. So with all that i could remember and with a little help from him on the phone i managed through the process.... and VIOLA !!! nobody at my place could believe that i actually did it . So it kinda got me started.
When i joined St Mary`s in 11th standard, i rented a flat there in Meerut. Since i was actually living all alone for the first time ( i mean not a hostel -but a flat of my own) I furnished it as if I had to live there fr ever. I had this almost complete kitchen where i would experiment with different kinds of food each day . And since it was only me wo had to bear up with the diasasters of my experiment gone wrong , I seldome feared before trying new things.That small kitchen hoaned my skills and soon i could understand the spices and magic they could create if added in right proportions.How long does it take to get food cooked , or if it would taste better if left a little raw?, How does a high or a low flame affect the taste ?Which type of oil goes with which kind of dish ?, It all etched in to my brain as if it was there since ever. Slowly my confidence as a cook grew and i started inviting freinds over and i knew i was good at it when their mommies used to call me up for reciepes.
Soon i had a reputation . my freinds would not celebrate their birtday parties at expensive restraunts anymore . My flat was the new hub. They would request me and after a little flattery I would agree in a non chalant way, though all these while my mind wud be totally occupied with the joy it would give me trying my hands at all those which i had been planning in my head fr weeks.It was kinda difficult for me to sleep the night before .
Next day i would get up early in the morning and after taking a long relaxing bath i would dress in to a light white t shirt , wrap the apron around my waist , put on some nice music on my Kenwood system and call the Birthday Boy for assisting me. Ah!! the whole day was paradise for me . I felt like a Musical Maestro performing his symphony. My hands use to run with the music. I would hardly think of any other thing. Guiding my instincts with aroma of the herbs and spices while making indian food and my sight and taste while working on continental food.I used to prepare a full three course meal , right from starters till dessert , and could hardly wait for the praises to be showered in the evening , which were always plenty. Maybe others did that to confirm me for their parties but i did not care. i knew that i was good by the look at their faces.

Cooking along with several other things had become a passion with me now. I would not have a meal that I did not add a personal touch to . I would search for new new places to eat at so that I might discover a new flavour and decode it in my brain and reproduce it later.While my stay in lucknow as a medical student i got a lot of chance to explore the 'Awadhi Cuisine'. Since it was such a hectic schedule all week with studies , patients and stuff that every saturday i used to wud unwind by searching little food joints who were famous by reputation . I avoided going to big expensive restraunts cause their food tasted bland to me .Every place has its trademark regional cuisine and you can never experience it at a pompous restruant. True flavour dwells in little corners ,this i understood well.
I must tell u my quest was not that easy. Though i could decode most of the reciepes myself but I must tell u that for that special flavour there is always one secret ingredient which cooks are not eager to divulge.
I would always try to take a seat at the place from where i could observe them cooking.This is fairly easy at small joints cos they kinda practically cook infront of you. Sometimes it was easy to get that secret ingredient just merely by asking politely what made their food so special. I tried that at AL ZAIQA and Gaurav`s in lucknow for their famous chicken avadhi, and chilly cheese respectively. They did not have much reservations in telling me that they used opium seeds rather than onion paste and multiple coatings of cornflour n soya sauce in their respective dishes. But the toughest nut to crack was TUNDEY KABABI. Here i must tell u tundey kababi is probably the worlds most famous kababi and almost a trademark of lucknow cuisine. If u visit his place in lucknow u will see his photographs with people like Dilip kumar , Shahrukh khan ,Cheif ministers and Sheikh`s from Gulf.There is one thing i liked about him is that despite of his tremendous sale he has maintained the same 'in reach of common man' prices.
He would not simply as much as even hint me on the reciepe leave apart discussing anything. After weeks of frequenting tundey`s and complementing him personally each time and even pointing out how this time it was minutely different from the last time, he developed a certain respect fr me as a fellow foodie. One evening he in his proud monologue divulged his secret to me ,unaware of the ctastrophy. I could not suppress my excitement .Tundey used to mince pappaya with fresh red mutton and used to leave them overnight. The enzyme in pappaya used to semidigest the protein so the need to boil or cook it was done away with .In his self boasterous speech he slipped the exact amount and the ingredient which he added to it .After three unsuccessfull attempts one fine day i reproduced the exact taste of the Great Tundey Kababi.
Till now i could cook yes but i had no style. I mean when this time i was watching this movie MUNICH, i envied the male lead who could dice and slice with his chef knife with astounding skill and pace.But it was destiny that after a month or so i left for Delhi and met Sameer Chaudhary (chintu bhaiya-as we lovingly called him).
Chintu Bhaiya was a cousin of my best pals . I had met him earlier also but never did spend time enough with him to know him . We rented a flat together in Amar colony Lajpat nagar, where he still lives till date.He was a graduate from PUSA -Goa with his Masters in Hotel management. Was supervising North Zone of Reliance Retail.He was a foodie himself. so when we two met we made a great team . Though we had employed a maid for our cooking but dinner- that was our turf. He would come back from his office dead tired and after a nap of about half an hour or so . We would decide on some entirely new dish and go for it.Trust me when i say that ,even if it was a simple PULAO we decided to make , so much effort and brain was put in to it that it wud taste better than a steak at a 5 star ( 5 stars seldome taste good though).
He would show me his fancy skills of chopping , basting etc. and i like a sponge absorbed every detail . Since i had so many freinds i used to make it a point to invite them over for dinner and amaze them with these skills. We had an excellent collection of crockery and kitchenware which u would seldome find at a bachelors place. I even managed sizzlers infront of our guests right on the dining table.Now i could cut and chop (exactly like that Munich guy) to the amazement of my guests .
These days at home my mother tells me that sons usually fancy what their mother will cook fr them but it is the opposite here. I could but just smile and dream what next treasure would i discover while travelling to a virgin land.........on my next quest for Ambrosia.....

Madhur Uniyal

Yesterday i walked down the memmory lane...

"Bhaiya you did not come"Boogie started sobbing on the other side of the phone . His two fast inspirations followed by one loud expiratory sob pierced right through my heart ."Don`t worry freind i will surely reach there by tomorrow evening"."Hmm hmm hmmmm" now the sobs were mollifying in to jerky humms which were telling that Boogie believed what i said.I had promised Boogie that I would come to him to Dehradun as soon as i was back from my trip but i got a day late.Well not keeping a promise was one of the things which G.G.B.M.club despised greatly.
Well let me specify that Boogie is my 8 year old cousin who also happens to be one of my best freinds.Freinds ?? Yeah ryt freinds , I seriously consider him more of a freind than my lill cousin .Why should i not? I love spending time with him and most of his favourite hobbies ae mine too. Just last month we officially named our club."G.G.B.M. club". Here last two letters B and M stand for Boogie and Madhur respectively. G and G are Goku and Gohan ....the father and son duo from cartoon series 'Dragonballz'. I was not in favour of their admission in to our club but Boogie convinced me that with superpowers they possess ,someday in time of need they might come handy.We took the oath over a Dragonballz Tazzo (which came as a complimentary gift in a chips packet) .After the oath of secrecy and faithfullness the tazzo was burried in the backyard of my house and thus G.G.B.M. Club was born.I cant tell u about our secret slogan cos that is a secret which i have promised to take to my grave. Members of our club do not fail the promises, so i had to leave the next evening.
Next evevning when Dad noticed me copying some cartoons which i had stored on his laptop "What happened to your laptop he asked"? "well i had stored some things fr boogie on urs , as i have to go to Doon fr some important wrk i thought i might take them as well".i sheepishly replied (How on earth was I supposed to make him understand GGBM and its emergency call). So with just my laptop bag with a pair of extra shorts and a T shirt i hit my car and stepped the accelerator towards Doon .
The Rishikesh- Doon road stretch had been my fav since i was a kid . I love driving on this road . The 45 minutes journey never seemed more than a few minutes to me.This is one stretch on which i like to put some nice serene music in the car instead of adrenaline spitting rock. On reaching Dharampur chowk I called up Parth and told him that i was in town and he better get ready cos we were having dinner outside. I picked up Parth from his place and then we straightaway went to Boogie`s place. U shudve seen that ear to ear smile on Boogies face when he saw his fellow gangmember - me. Kicking him in the butt I told him to put on some clothes .With in a minute he was draped in his trademark three quarters and striped t shirt. After jumping in the car it was decided that we first raid a momo stall and then have some nice dinner at a restaurant and after that some ice cream or dessert at any latenight icecream parlour. After a drive of fifteen minutes we saw this mommo wallah which Parth had already praised a lot . He did not have much place to sit though . Two sardaars were occupying the only bench and by the look u cud tell that they were nt leaving any time near fr sure. So we took our plates inside the car instead. The momos were a lill undercooked but the soup was awesome. After finsihing our appetizer we hit a restaurant at Rajpur road . And then came my favourite part. handling the menu card to boogie. If u have seen booogie you can tell by his cute fat cheeks that how big a foodie he is.And my,my ,!!! i wud give an arm just to see that confused look on his face whenever i ask him to order whatever he wants.It is not what to order that confuses him but what not to order? He he so after enjoining his predicament fr five minutes I handed over the menu card to parth and he zeroed down to Paneer Pasanda and Khumb Awadhi. I insisted on plane naan cos i had been neglecting my workout a lot fr these past few days. After a hearty meal as I was about to leave i got a call from a very dear freind from lucknow who was having some serious trouble with some not so nice people on matters of land and property. That got me really worried about his safety.All the while on our way back home i my thoughts could not stray away from him .
Next morning his call woke me up and he told me that shit has really struck the fan .There were some real criminal getting involved. I told him nt to worry and promised him to do whatever i cud . I called up a close contact who is a close realative of a minister who holds a very hefty position in the ruling government.After impressing upon him the gravity of the situation and getting his reassurance I was relieved.
Now since boogie and parth already had their studies i thought of walking down the memmory lane of my days spent in doon . Leaving my car at Rohans for servicing i took parth's DTSI bike and started fr those long frgotten places alone. Einstein once said "There are only two ways to live life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as if everything is".Today i was willing to use the latter as my glasses.First and foremost i stepped on the gas to my way to 'Clement town'. It was here under the Buddha satue that some very relaxing evenings of my childhood had spent. Then i turned my bike and started fr the other extreme of the city,towards Mussourie road.It was nice riding a bike after a long time.I remembered gunning my double silencer 350 cc massive engine,a pickup of 5 ...my YAMAHA 350 which a few years back was my companion on these roads. After crossing Rajpur Road my heart started sinking by a fractions . I remembered how on this road i used to frequent with my pals . I dont think those days will ever come not because we dont have free time , but cos we seldome have free time together. So I picked up the beaten path of Old Mussourie Road which is nowa days seldome frequented cos of the New Mussourie Road. I went straightaway to the site where our new cottage was coming up. There under a Bouganvillia bough,I sat and stared away my time watching lovely green hillocks facing me, hearing the russle of the leaves, in silence .....hours passed by and i realised that this interview with myself had taken quite a long time. I began riding down the hill with the silent promise to these abandoned road .....to visit it again soon ....cos somehow i felt it missed me exactly like i missed it ........

Madhur Uniyal

BAHARRUKH

It was 6.30 in the evening and i was walking on the streets of jaipur with a rucksack of not less than 15-20 kgs. It was not the physical stress that was hurting me . I was just walking after gruelling 9 hours straight out of my u.s.m.l.e. exam. Now I had to find an occupation to pass my time since I had my train scheduled at 11.45 in the night.
I heaved a big sigh when i saw Big Mac infront of me. So with all my bag and baggage i squeezed my way in to Mc Donalds. I was not that hungry cos not less than a kilo of chocolates (which i hogged during the day) were keeping my glucose levels to max but i was craving for something salty. I ordered a Chicken Mc Grill combo and some fries and snatched all the newspapers from the counter. Aim was to find some happening movie at a nearby theatre. The best these papers had to offer was "Welcome to Sajjanpur". Ha Ha Ha I would have not even given it a second thought if Shyam Benegal mentioned under director wud've not caught my eyes. Since i had a lot of time to kill i thought what the heck and with coke and fries in my hand and my massive rucksack on my back I ushered myself towards the movie theatre which to my amazement was at a stonethrow.
Took a ticket and stepped in . The movie had already started but since i was there just to rest my spine on some soft foam so din bother about the missed part. At least that was my idea untill the guard stopped me . "Sir bag khol ke dikhana padega"....."Dekh le bhai , bomb maine bag ke sabse nichey chupaya hai" .He gave me that stirred look. I smiled ; he smiled back but that did not prevent him from rummaging through my bag . Out came my chicago bulls cap, my mufti shirt , followed by my jeans and when he hit my tommy hilfiger u.g. i gave him that look and said "Bhai ab dog squad bhi bula lo, ek do pen bhi padey hain ,khol lo kahin ink ki jagah t.n.t. na ho?". "Arrey sir aap toh naraz ho rahey hain"guard said and shoved all my belongings back in to my bag.I instantly knew it was not my day . So with my backpack i entered hall and found a place with an empty seat by the side fr my bag.With my evening strting like that how on earth the movie was going to be fine. Movie was the crappiest shit Benegal had ever managed.And even more irritating than the movie was a weird guy sitting just behind me ;who was in i dont know what kind of euphoria that he would laugh the loudest hollow laughter even at somebody falling from bicycle. I needed the seat but I cud not tolerate the man. So the next time he strted his hollow laughter i retorted by laughing hysterically and louder than him.I did it again and again whenever he even opened his mouth for as much as a yawn. That did quite him .Looking at me he could not muster enough courage to show his displeasure in words cos he somehow got the msg that he wouldve been beaten in to a pulp if he tried that . So hardly 15 ..20 minutes were by and that was it ......my threshold for pathetic sajjanpur. Picked up my backpack and hit the road to railway station.
As i was asking for directions from his uncle type person on a scooter he offered me a ride, which i gladly accepted. He dropped me few hundered yards from the railway station where i spotted a dhaba and my desire to have some real indian food strted urging my insides. I hit towards the dhaba and went straight in . It was even not fit to be called a dhaba. Call it a cross between a dhaba and 'chai ki gumti'.So i heaved my back pack on that long bench."Saab dilli se aye hain?"the dhaba wallah asked ."kyun bhai main kis angle se dilli wala lagta hoon?"( I dont like delhi guys for their shallowness and superficiality so the comparison kinda irked me). "khaney mein kya hai"? " Saab 20 rupye diet. dal chawal roti sabkuch with salad" . The bottomground price made me rethink on my descision wheteher my stomach wud have to bear the toll later. but i thought since when maddy did u strt getting so delicate. " phir laga dey garma garam" i said . Splashed my face with a mug of water .I dont know whether it was my hunger or the delicacy of the food i ended up giving him a 10 rupee more after i had done with. Then sitting on the same bench i tried focussing on the sound of music coming from his ancient taperecorder. Incidently it was playing my favorite song" baawra mann dekhne chala ek sapna....."listening to it i was lost in the variety of activities going around me. As if at night also everything was alive.Poverty is vocal but Richness is often a mute. I remembered my onward journey to Jaipur in ac. Everybody was so aloof and isolated behind their respective curtains. It suddenly occured to me that i did no more want to travel in a.c. on this return journey . I'll travel sleeper class instaed, travelling with life at a more basic level. So i rushed inside the railway station and got my ac ticket cancelled and gt one in waiting in sleeper class. soon the train was on station and after talking to t.t. i hit a loer birth and i dunno when i was in deepest of slumber.
I was woken up in the morning as usual with my feets brushing against some early risers passing through the aisle.Indian railways i guess is still confident that Indian genes have not improved enough to produce human frames of 6 feets. Anyways it was a sunny morning .I arched up my neck to look out of the window. I could see a small but busy station. Some stacks of dunlop tyres at a corner, few ppl in dhoti walking with large potleys on their head ,and a banana vendor shouting ..."kaileey ,kaileey kaileeyyyyy.....". sleeper was definitely more fun than A.C.After a few momnets of tug and war of whether i shud get up or not i decided in the favour of the former.Got up and after freshning up my eyes strted searching fr some coffee wallah. Ah soon he was there. It was then when i heard Baharrukh .

Baharrukh was a 'he' cum 'she', a eunuch or hijrah..as u wud call her locally. Her charecterstic claps preceeded her so it gave all my fellow travellers ample time to hold on to their purses and dhotis.I smiled to myself and ordered an extra coffee. As soon this about 30yish slim figure wrapped in gaudy cheap yellow entered the compartment I knew I was going to be the victim. "Aye haye mere rajja ,kitna modeler sa lag raha hai (god knows wat she meant by modeler)meri jaan tujhse purey 50 loongi". I smiled "Ja tehal ke aa tere liye coffee order ki hai , laut ke aa jaldi thandi ho jayegi".She gave me that confused look and went back to other seats. After not more than a minute she was back."Bata mere rajja kya dikahun tujhey?" Baharrukh asked in the most seductive tone she could muster. I gave a hearty laugh right from the bottom of my lungs."Dikhana hai to thodi tameez dikha aur yahan aa baith mere paas, teri cofee thandi ho rahi hai ".I think i mustve scared her more than she cud've scared other people cos she obeyed me like an obedient child and came to sit besides me."Rajja tu toh bilkul herohiralall hai". I faked a frown "Ab tuney tarif ke liye muh khola toh jitney jama kiye hain paisey tuney woh bhhi cheen loonga". She sniggered."kahan ki hai tu?" I asked ."Pari hoon main , Jannat se ayi hoon". ha ha i laughed ,"sun nautanki band kar aur dhang se bol jaisey apney bhai se baat kar rahi ho" I faked displeasure again. I dont know whether it was my displeasure or the use of word bhai that turned her in to this very original and serious person.Sipping coffee she looked at me as if i was a display in some art gallery. "kahan se hai ab bata ?""Baharrukh hai mera naam ,Bareilly se hoon"..she answered . "To yahan kya kar rahi hai ?" I asked. "Padhey likhey lagtey ho lallla phir bhi aisa sawaal ?" She retorted very philosophically. I realised the foolishness in my question so to cover it up i asked "Mera matlab wahin ke aas paas kyaon nahi karti yeh kaam ?". "Wah lallla abhi bola tuney bhai samajh ke baat kar, par itna asaan samajhtey ho isey lallla.Mera bhi ek bhai hai 'Nankau' aur 3 behaney.Bahut pyar kaarti huun unsey. isiliye wahan nahin rehti , ki woh sir utha ke ji sakey.Tears swelled up in her mascara loaded eyes.I felt foolish again . "kisney kaha tu kum hai , aajkal teri biradari waley dekh election jeet rahey hain"." Lallla woh isliye kyun ki saarey neta hum jaisey ho gaye hain.....Warna jindagi ka election to hum kab sey haar gaye hain....", she heaved a deep sigh. I dont know why she was opening up infront of me like that . Maybe cos we so called normal ppl have never seen them as persons."Achcha ab chup ho ja warna baki sab samjhenge ki mainey tere saath kuch kar diya hai".I laughed tried to cheer her up". Clapping in her unique way towards the other fellow passengers she said " Lallla ek bat bataun tujhey apna samajh key.In sabki kabhi mat sochiyo. Yeh sab paidaishi darshak hain .Sirf tamasha dekhne ke alawa kuch nahin jaantey hain. Tu apney dil ki kario lallla". I smiled at her wondering how lots did she teach me in those few words. "Achcha mainey tera bahut time khoti kiya . le 20 rupye ab ja".I took a crumpled 20 rupee note out of my pocket and placed it on her hand .She gave me that peircing stare. It was such deep a look that i was frozen up for a second. "Wah lalla Behan boltey ho aur neecha bhi dikhatey ho", she took out a crisp 50 rupee note from her blouse and adding them to my 20 rupee note pressed them hard on my palm and said "lallla dekh mana na karna.Teri badi behan ne diya hai apney chotey bhai ko. Nahin lega to samajhungi ki tu bhi mujhey waisey hi dekhta hai jaisey sab dekhtey hain...aur lallla kabhi badaliyo mat , yeh jo insaan tere andar hai na , isey jinda rakhiyo , main tere liye dua mangungi" .....she stood up laughing in her original seducting tone ..."aakhir baharrukh ka bhai hai , bada toh banega hi ......chal oye seth jagah de" .....she made her way cornering another traveller. I was mesmerised ....... frozen..... , just satring at my open palms , thinking how pale my 20 rupee note looked besides her crisp 50 rupee note........"

Madhur Uniyal ( It is not a story i fabricated.Every word of it is true)

ANATOMY OF LOVE..... ( HOW DO I FEEL VERSION )...

Now comes 'How do i feel version". Love to me means "giving". Love can never be demanding . if u love someone and u expect them to love you back ...it is a BARGAIN , certainly not LOVE.
ALTRUISM is the very root of love. you can not demand in love , neither can u complain if your feelings are not reciprocated. You can just love.... and love for the sake of only and only one thing .....LOVE. I know when a person is in love he/she wants to spend the lifetime with his beloved . Yes this feeling is always there, it does not mean you love less.But even when you are sure that you will never get to live with that person or even just talk to him fr that reason and even then u happily want to spend your lifetime loving that person ....that is love.
A couple of years back i saw this hindi movie ROG ( Irfaan khan was the main lead) which very beautifully portrayed love. I dont think many ppl understood the gravity in it but somehow i feel i could identify with the writer. The movie is based upon a murder investigation in which a model goes missing. Irfaan khan ( a cop) falls in love with this missing girl who he takes for dead , in love with her pics.....and when he eventually meets her he tells her flat " you are not the one i love , i love the one in these pictures".
Ah!!! that is what love is for me.....loving somebody with all you have and when i say all , i mean with every cell , every drop of your soul.....and not demanding a dime ,and if u may ....demand all the pains, all the agony of your beloved. That can be your only reward. LOVE for the sake of love , live for the sake of this most divine bliss.... it is anytime better to love and to loose than not to love at all.....

MADHUR UNIYAL

ANATOMY OF " LOVE "....( HOW I THINK IT IS VERSION )

Today i feel like dissecting all the petals of life with tools of reason and faith. So let me begin with the most talked, hyped and cherished feeling.....(love).Before i begin, i specify that it is only about what Adam had for Eve, not what krishna had for Yashoda. It will come in my next few posts but for writing that i will have to ascend to a different frequency altogether.So now i talk of love of a man for a woman or otherwise.
We humans are a strange race.not strange because of our "id" but because of our superego.Here i shamelessly admit that i have two versions ....one one of how i think it is and another one that how i feel it is and should be. And i am afraid both are not very much same .So it is kinda paradox in itself . but be it any version the best thing is "IT PROVIDES WITH ANSWERS"

" LOVE" is very easy to fall in . But hardly do we realise that there are milllions in this world who have went through this same experience and some simultaneously still are.but since we percieve it to be so personal , so divine that for a moment it seems that it is only us that who has been in love. Have u ever considered that love which we feel today is not the product of that one moment ? The fact that "love at first sight " is actually a produce of thousands years of evolution.
Years ago man was the hunter , the food gatherer,the physically strong and outgoing in the family ......while a woman was mostly down with pregnancy in her best years (Alas the abscence of contraception and womans lib).So she had but no choiice to assume the role of the home maker . And since the very basis of our humankind is "symbiosis",, man brought food and woman nurtured the family.made home an attractive place where a man would love to come at the end of the day.
Well now lemme explain where all this is leading to ......."A woman is more faithfull than man"(can be interprted as a "Woman loves more than a man"). Since man was a the foodgatherer ,the hunter, the pleasure he derived from hunting/conquering got encrypted in to his genes. So while woman had only a few eggs in store and was dependent on her man she had not much choice but to be monogamous(or the tendency to it ),while the man who had millions of seeds to scatter throughout the globe and fr whom hunting was one of his basic instincts; was and till date is by nature polygamous. I dont say this as a m.c.p. or as an applause but as a fact.
So if we talk about making a choice in falling in love or rising in it . I think that will be like just being the part of the virtual world (remember MATRIX ?).
So what is it actually that makes us fall in love ??? looks ? that one ryt act at the ryt time( time wen u were available and ready fr it)? nature of the persion ? power ?wealth ?or that "je ne sas quoi"? that cosmic magic????
Well now i see a lots of eyebrows shooting up. but trust me folks u can not choose amongst these . It is a potpourrie of all these in strange proportions. and now pls dont be stupid and say "i dont care about the looks , the money, the power... blah blah blah . OF COURSE YOU DO. Well if u had a choice how wud u want ur lover to be ......with theses or without these ?? Dnt answer me.... answer urself.
And lastly what i feel "keeps love alive and rise" is not the unision in it but rather defeciency. there is no 'happily everafter'. just think of all the great love stories of the world...(some wonderfull ppl fall in love and they die in the end while still yearning fr their beloved. Thus STILL RISING IN LOVE.
Take laila majnoo ,romeo juliet , heer ranjha , shiri farhad ...those are the ones i can recall here fr the time being (ya ya ya there was a certain jack ,a tom , a dick and harry whos story was different) But get the basic idea mates.I am sure if these ppl had really been united and a follow up was done after a few years we wud be seeing Majnu flirting outside and Ranjha eyeing his next door pretty lass.so it seems that YOU HAVE TO LOOSE IN LOVE(or the illusion of it) TO RISE IN LOVE......

MADHUR UNIYAL

p.s. this was my 'wat i think it is' version. my 'what i feel 'version is due in the next post.

I DARE TO DREAM

"To dream of skies and achieve less is acceptable, but to dream less is a crime".These words of our former prez Dr Abdul Kalam Azad were directly etched on my heart as soon as i heard him on television.True , dreams make a man.What is one without dreams ?....just a mechanical being?? With getting up , surviving and then going to sleep his only chores? Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true. Bigger the dreams ,bigger the price they demand. And it only takes a man of substance to pay this toll.....the man who is just not an idle dreamer but an achiever as well... a visionary......

I DARE TO DREAM

Sliding down the Deodar leaf, I chafe at its tip,
I think a little, as too much thought might pull my reins,
A little coy I am ; as the Sun sees through me;
I dive in to a hollow strange....

I am anxious; knowing not what holds for me – Ye Fate,
But I dream of consummation;
Holla ! Sleep thou not – my future celebate.

I kiss the moistness; elope with the humus,
I conceive, centuple,
I feel the fullness of the nature – so ecstatic, so jubilous.

I am a brook now and down the hill I go,
To grow in to a stream, now with all my might I flow,
'Left’ I turn and ‘Right’ I turn and sing a chanty here and there;
Hey curate you pray for me; oh mighty me – I am a river

I twist, I waltz, I waddle on my jazz;
Then slow I down with a placid notion
I break in to veins, in my labour pains
Cometh my ultimate reincarnation.

See my grandeur, from rands to Sargasso, I fathom my ego as a sea.
I say to ocean – "you did not parent me but boy I fathered thee.
Here I shout, "Attention this world, heed to my scream!"
I am a drop, The same little drop, But I dared to dream.........

Madhur Uniyal (copyright 2001)

THE LONGEST WAIT

"WAIT"..... for me it is one of the toughest things to do. Perhaps life still has to teach me the lesson of patience.I am not an ardent fan of Eric Segal but I love his "ACTS OF FAITH" for the strength of his female lead Deborah. Deborah touched my heart so dearly that i dont think that I can even compare her with any other charecter anywhere in truth or in fiction (except to a little extent Keira from Rand's 'we the living').Only that kind of woman i think can get me down on my knees.I dont know who coined the term 'weaker sex ' for females. I would rather call them the 'gentler sex' but weaker ??? no sir!!! Only she can love somebody with an absolute intensity and an absolute might. A might which can put Gods to shame.A might which may make her wait for her beloved even if it is the longest wait ever .........This poem is my salute to all the Deborahs in this world....

The Longest Wait

Her gaze is fixed ; her eyes sapphire,
Her foreheard wrinkled; sight never seem to tire,

Sand in her fist that slowly escapes;
What a torture to her lovely shapes,

Her blood is fire her bosom turmoil
Her tears flood bathing up the soil ,

Is she the 'hunter' or is she the 'bait'?
" NO" she is 'Agony' and in her lovers wait,

Like reeds on the bank that slowly decay;
In to slime n skeleton in its solitary yet frequented grave,

She murders her charm , eats up through her soul;
Like caterpillar in the bud ;pain taketh its toll,

When is he to come? or Is he to come?
That is all her sanity fights,

As every minute bids its farewell ;
Her hope flutters like a dropping kite,

But she shall wait and be true to her part;
Even if it is the longest wait ,
Even till the ground and horizons part..............


Madhur Uniyal

I CAN FIX THAT

What i write today are not just a few rhyming words. It is but a "promise". My promise to the people i love.The promise i would happily die keeping.Thank u folks cos it is just because of ur love that i can boast of being the only person in the whole wide world ,who never felt unlucky.....even for a moment....



I CAN FIX THAT

"The day has scortched you,your being exhausted ,
No cool in any waters you adopted ,
Sit down a little , give me your load ,
A little rest .....I can fix that".

"You toiled and toiled with only sweat result ,
Your soul has ache'd and bore insult
Hold on my dear , it is not ephemeral
A little more wait .....I can fix that."

"You have erred , a Hemlock sprouts ,
Your soul cyanosed by its poisnous bouts ,
Don't you worry; the Panacea is coming ,
Just a little delay .....I can fix that."

"Come to me whatever may come ,
Come to me whatever u've done ,
My nest may be small ;your problems big
A li'll more weaving , .....I can fix that."

Madhur Uniyal

THE QUESTION NEVER ANSWERED

I wrote this poem way back when i was in ninth grade, and it aptly represents the thoughts of a 'nouveau adolescent' and his virtual paradise where he visualises everything around him with his narcissistic kaleidoscope.Though today i am not very proud of it but it is dear to me cos that was the time when words flowed right from the heart directly to the nib of my pen bypassing the grey matter entirely .....a literary portrayal of my 'id'..... just raw emotions penned down.....

THE QUESTION NEVER ANSWERED

Though tears in my gloomy eyes are few;But whenever my love I think of you,

Your charm;your calm; your smile; your frown,Makes me miss you and in your love I drown,

Deep; deeper and deepest in the sea,Where there is none;But me u n glee,

Thither in my arms you resist and moan, But soon melt and whisper in to that lovely tone,

"I am yours my love; for now and forever"But then with a hidden thought you do shiver ,

Holding my face, pouring love from pretty little eyes, With a lovely expression so keen so wise,

"Will you love always "? you do say , While carelessly with your silky hair i play,

"Will you love me"? You say it again ,And pearls droppeth from your eyes; like the first summer rain ,

"Will you love me even when i am gone?" And there i am perplexed failing to get your passionate song,

"Will you love me even when i am dead"? , And lo i am shaken from my bliss; my heavenly bed,

Looking in to those eyes crammed with dew , I was startled knowing not what to do,

To calm the little brook shedding brine; A 'soft kiss' on those rosy cheeks necessity of the time,

And there you were calm and content , reading my kiss and what it meant ,

'Cos' now you knew what was fine;The one to answer was not 'me' but 'time'.....

Madhur Uniyal

TO DEATH

Death....the concept of death has always fascinated me.I can't help but to involve death in one way or the other in my writings.Maybe cos till date it is the most complex maze or maybe it is the most honest act in one's life and evokes the deepest and the truest emotions in others .
My first true encounter with death could be explained in just one word "ICY". Yes ,I had been to funerals, I had seen the dead before, but when for this first time when i was posted in intensive care unit(I.C.U.) as an intern ;a patient passed away on my watch.Transformation from a person to a body, that too in just a few minutes.......i felt chill to my spine. Here are my four lines to DEATH...

DEATH
"How sneakest thou with swiftest strife,
With Garguantan weight fingers of ice
And suck the warmth out of a mortal one
Leaving a shell ,wails and cries".


Madhur Uniyal

RESURGAM..."I shall rise again".

"Resurgam" in latin means "i shall rise again". This is my favourite ballad from whatever little i have written. How much so ever popular one is ,how much so ever wanted , when he is gone the world just moves on .....This ballad is the afterlife story of one such popular lady who just needs somebody to shed two tears at her grave , 'two tears' right from the heart , 'two tears'...her passport to salvation ......

RESURGAM
Deep in the ground in a slumber so sound ;a tender being hibernates , I can't call it living , i won't call her dead ,
Cos' she said to the winds and even to the mist in the air

"Soon shall i rise again , rise from my earthen womb
this irksome dread ,
And walk with the clouds; tearing all my shrouds
in to the emptiness this destiny fabricates."

But this all is a dream , the only hope to a poor soul ,
" Two Tears" she needs 'right from the heart'
to creep her way to this ultimate goal .

Her husband ? 'NO' he has married again ,
Her children ? 'NO'they are busy mending their children's pain ,
Her parents ? Alas ! they are already gone ,
Her lover ? But now with no love, no sigh,no moan .

She tries, she cries, right from her liver ;
right from her heart ,
But all her pain was all in vain,
tears dont drop from dead ones part.

And even today the wind echoes and mist embales ,
Her sullen story ;her gloomy tale .
And words of this beautifull baroness, an unfortunate dame
Resurgam........ Resurgam........ Resurgam ........


Madhur uniyal (copyright 2001)

My first post...not sure what to write...hmm.. mm.. let me begin by explaining my blog title "Perestroika" . "Perestroika" - a russian word stands for 'restructuring'.Though this word was made famous by Mikhail Gorbachev- when he used it for his economic reforms but my choice fr it bears no semblence to it whatsoever . In a silly way i think my ideas through this blog would help change world , actually 'restructure'it , though in a miniscule proportion.I know it invites laughters but i dont care because it is true.The last person i can cheat is "myself",so i'll be true to myself, me ,....ever....